Adults Can't Let Kids Be Kids

 There are many well intended experts and authors who put forth good ideas for the development of children including direct involvement in all the activities of their children.  Attention to child development by parents is especially important today because we need something to offset the encroachment of radical ideologies being fed to children as education when it is really just indoctrination.

But herein is a problem.  We live in an age when nearly every adult believes they must join in the fun of children--for the benefit of the children.  Most adults have been immersed in this idea that they must participate in all the activities of their children has been going on for so long that there are only a few of us who can recall any other way of rearing children.

In one recent article, a small child is shown in a close-up photo handling a chicken's egg fresh out of the hencoop.  Know what else is in the photo?  Yup, the hand of an adult--- not the adult, just the hand of an adult. The child was obviously not allowed to be inquisitive on its own.  Someone was there to provide details. Not good.  

Then in another article on teamwork there was a artist's drawing of team members enraptured by the antics of the adult coach.  Nothing wrong with this in my mind, except why not on occasions at least, show a team of children enraptured by a fellow team member  demonstrating leadership --adults remaining in the bleachers.

There are some who get the idea.  Yesterday we were in a public library Friends Bookstore and on one end of the room, there was a mother and her daughter.  The mother was looking for books for herself, and the little daughter was on the floor with several children's books scattered on the carpet.  Both were deep into their mission in the bookstore.  Note that mother was not on the floor with the child pointing out pictures and interpreting the story for her daughter.  Both were capable on their own without any help.

We are in danger of creating a whole bunch of young adults that have never solved a societal problem on their own and will always be looking for some else to guide them on how to think.  Thats the way sheep are developed, so be careful.

Doctor makes the connection

 Many months ago, I gave a Physician friend of mine who lives in another state,  a copy of our book titled Unstructured Time.  Just looking at the title and the cover of us feral kids in the corn patch, he picked up on the message in the book quickly.  The message being that kids develop best when they are governed by some basic principles of honesty and integrity, but then left on their own to solve the problems they encounter.

Then, with a very thoughtful expression on his face, he went on to tell about one of his patients who was an author of a book on child development along the lines opposite of that in the book on unstructured time.  She then went on to tell about her daughter and the medical problems her daughter has experienced.  It became apparent to my friend that the mother, unknowingly, was the cause of her daughters problems. 

When this happens, its difficult to correct, so its better to avoid the problem by proper care of children when they are in the most susceptible years.  Nature works wonders.

This was written 150 years ago

and we thought we had just invented the concepts that follow.  For, you see, since we had no children of our own, we became natural intellects on how to raise children so that they would  become proper adults who in turn could raise children to become proper adults.
We acquired this skill from being students of our parents who seemed to have known the tricks all along.
Well, anyway, this article appeared in the Ontonagon, Michigan newspaper published on February 26, 1870, We liked all the items but we especially were attracted to item number 11.
Read the whole listing, and pay good attention.  (violating No. 8 already)

Sowing the Seed
A work with the above title just published in England and reprinted in Boston, gives the following hints with regard to "Sowing the seed" in the juvenile mind. They are worthy of consideration.
I will by going once more over the subject, and collecting the different ways that may be tried to sow the seeds of a brave and cheerful temper as if I were trying to write a recipe to avoid fretfulness.

1. Never refuse a thing if it is harmless, but give it, if you are able, without delay.
2. Never give anything that is cried for, that you have refused when asked for.
3. Be careful to observe real illness, and avoid causing bodily uneasiness, from over clothing, or cold, or unwholesome food such as candy, sugar plums, sour fruit, or giving buns, or cakes, to quiet a child.
4. Avoid false promises.  They are sure to be found out false.
5. Avoid threats of all kinds. If believed, they make children timid, and injure both mind and body;  if not believed, they are useless.  Such threats as bogie, policeman, black man are sure to be found out false if the child lives.
6. Never say anything to a child that is untrue.
7. Do not wreak your own bad temper, or visit your feelings of fatigue and trouble on children, by being severe with them, or by saying  "you shan't have it" or "I won't give it to you" when there is no reason for refusal except that you yourself are tired, or in trouble, or out of sorts.
8. Avoid giving orders such as "stand still", "go on", "hold your tongue", "put it down", unless you really mean that they should be obeyed; and the fewer orders given, the better.
9. Neither give too much pity, nor yet be severe when a child tumbles down and hurts oneself.
10. Do not worry a child.  Let it alone and let it lie in peace
11. Teach it early to play alone, and amuse itself without your help.  Let it alone is a golden  rule in nine cases out of ten.

To sum up all in a few words:  Try to feel like a child; to enter into its griefs and joys, its trials and triumphs.  Then look forward to the time when it shall have a numbered as many years as you have seen and pray for help and strength to do your duty by it.  You may fail, as we all may, but if you sow the seed with humility and faith, you will have done all that is permitted to us imperfect creatures; and you haver reared up a cheerful, loving,  truthful and brave spirit, in a healthy body, you have been working with Him who told us  it was "not the will of our Father in heaven that one of these little ones should perish".

An Early Result of an Unstructured Life

In looking back, I think that all the years growing up in the outdoors with little direct supervision started to play out the day Darold and I were looking at the bulletin board in the hallway of our high school.  Darold was and still is my good friend and we both liked science and math. We did however find time for other activities during the school year.  On many occasions we went trout fishing early in the morning, catching some nice trout and then going on to school.
It was our senior year and we had no ideas for going on to college since both of our families had little money and had not mentioned college to either of us.  Going on to college was not a common practice then and the subject did not occupy much time in student gatherings.
As usual, the bulletin board was crammed with announcements, but there was one new one on the board and it was an invitation to apply for a scholarship at Michigan College of Mining and Technology in Houghton, Michigan.  Now for those of you who do not know where this town is located, let me tell you.  It is located on the Keweenaw Peninsula, the point of land that juts into Lake Superior.  It is so far north that it only has two seasons.  One is winter and the other is two weeks of poor skiing.
We both applied for the scholarships and we both received one.  $500.  I elected Chemical Engineering, Darold elected Electrical Engineering.  We thought is was great to be able to learn these professions and at the same time to be in country where the hunting and fishing were so good.
Now here's where our unstructured childhood experiences paid off in creativity, boldness and the ability to take the opportunity presented.
Darold and I spent a few weeks that summer building a row boat.  Darold then cut off the rear part of the body of his 1946 Chevrolet in order to make the car into a truck to transport the boat.
When the time for fall semester arrived, we were ready.  Our minds tuned to the challenge and we departed with this old car, boat and each with a suitcase of clothes.  Mothers and Dads said goodbye waiving to us as we left the driveway in Ada, Michigan for the 500 mile trip to Houghton, crossing the Straits of Michigan on a ferry (no bridge yet) and on through the upper peninsula of Michigan.
We made it in one drive and to this day, I do not recall having phoned my parents that we had arrived safely.  They knew we would arrive in good shape, after all, they taught us how to deal with all the problems we might face on this trip.

Tells it right

The best years to be born in the history of Earth & we got to experience it all. Thank God for all the times, the adventures, wars won, technology developed. Generations after future generations will never experience what we did. What a generation we turned out to be. To Those of Us Born 1925 - 1955: At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read anything else, Please read what he said. ~~~~~~~~~ TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930’s, 40’s, and 50’s !! First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank - While they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs Covered with bright colored Lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, And, when we rode our bikes, We had baseball caps, Not helmets, on our heads. As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day .. . And, we were OKAY. We would spend hours building Our go-carts out of scrapsand then ride them down the hill, Only to find out that we forgot about brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned To Solve the problem. We did not Have Play Stations, Nintendo and X-boxes. There were No video games, No 150 channels on cable, No video movies Or DVDs, No surround-sound or CDs, No cell phones, No personal computers, No Internet and No chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS And we went Outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, Broke bones and Lost teeth, And there were No lawsuits From those accidents. We would get Spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand, And no one would call child services to report abuse. We ate worms, And mud pies Made from dirt, And The worms did Not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, 22 rifles for our 12th, rode horses, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and -although we were Told it would happen- we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes Or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just Walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts And not everyone Made the team. Those who didn't Had to learn To deal with Disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent Bailing us out If we broke the law was unheard of ... They actually sided with the law! These generations have Produced some of the best risk-takers, Problem solvers, and Inventors ever. The past 60 to 85 years Have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, Failure, success and responsibility, and we learned Ho w to deal with it all. If YOU are One of those born Between 1925-1955, CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. While you are at it, forward it to your kids, so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ? ~~~~~~~ The quote of the month by Jay Leno: "With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?" For those who prefer to think that God is not watching over us.... go ahead and delete this. For the rest of us..... please pass this on. (received in email on 10/28/2019)

 

This book sells best

Of the four books, we have published this one on Unstructured Time sells the best.  People like to be reminded of "how it used to be".
A summary of all the books can be seen on adrtbooks.blogspot.com.
And, best of all, they can be purchased on Amazon.com.   Some of the books are Amazon printed books, others are books I have in inventory and are purchased from NQ99HQ---my store front.

Books in inventory reminds me of an author I recently read.   He said he had over 700 books all of first editions on his bookshelves---unfortunately, they were all of the same title and author.

NQ99HQ is on our front gate in Hays County, Texas.

Unstructured Time in Cartoons

Cartoons are a good way to poke fun at reality of life.  An especially good one is the cartoon that is published as Family Circus.  The one dated 10.13 shows dad coming on to the playing field filled with little kids who are about to play football--there must be 20 on each side.  He marches on to the field telling them that they are not properly organized for football and is about to show them how to do it.   They all look pretty disgruntled.
Go look for it and be amused.