Adults Can't Let Kids Be Kids

 There are many well intended experts and authors who put forth good ideas for the development of children including direct involvement in all the activities of their children.  Attention to child development by parents is especially important today because we need something to offset the encroachment of radical ideologies being fed to children as education when it is really just indoctrination.

But herein is a problem.  We live in an age when nearly every adult believes they must join in the fun of children--for the benefit of the children.  Most adults have been immersed in this idea that they must participate in all the activities of their children has been going on for so long that there are only a few of us who can recall any other way of rearing children.

In one recent article, a small child is shown in a close-up photo handling a chicken's egg fresh out of the hencoop.  Know what else is in the photo?  Yup, the hand of an adult--- not the adult, just the hand of an adult. The child was obviously not allowed to be inquisitive on its own.  Someone was there to provide details. Not good.  

Then in another article on teamwork there was a artist's drawing of team members enraptured by the antics of the adult coach.  Nothing wrong with this in my mind, except why not on occasions at least, show a team of children enraptured by a fellow team member  demonstrating leadership --adults remaining in the bleachers.

There are some who get the idea.  Yesterday we were in a public library Friends Bookstore and on one end of the room, there was a mother and her daughter.  The mother was looking for books for herself, and the little daughter was on the floor with several children's books scattered on the carpet.  Both were deep into their mission in the bookstore.  Note that mother was not on the floor with the child pointing out pictures and interpreting the story for her daughter.  Both were capable on their own without any help.

We are in danger of creating a whole bunch of young adults that have never solved a societal problem on their own and will always be looking for some else to guide them on how to think.  Thats the way sheep are developed, so be careful.

Doctor makes the connection

 Many months ago, I gave a Physician friend of mine who lives in another state,  a copy of our book titled Unstructured Time.  Just looking at the title and the cover of us feral kids in the corn patch, he picked up on the message in the book quickly.  The message being that kids develop best when they are governed by some basic principles of honesty and integrity, but then left on their own to solve the problems they encounter.

Then, with a very thoughtful expression on his face, he went on to tell about one of his patients who was an author of a book on child development along the lines opposite of that in the book on unstructured time.  She then went on to tell about her daughter and the medical problems her daughter has experienced.  It became apparent to my friend that the mother, unknowingly, was the cause of her daughters problems. 

When this happens, its difficult to correct, so its better to avoid the problem by proper care of children when they are in the most susceptible years.  Nature works wonders.

This was written 150 years ago

and we thought we had just invented the concepts that follow.  For, you see, since we had no children of our own, we became natural intellects on how to raise children so that they would  become proper adults who in turn could raise children to become proper adults.
We acquired this skill from being students of our parents who seemed to have known the tricks all along.
Well, anyway, this article appeared in the Ontonagon, Michigan newspaper published on February 26, 1870, We liked all the items but we especially were attracted to item number 11.
Read the whole listing, and pay good attention.  (violating No. 8 already)

Sowing the Seed
A work with the above title just published in England and reprinted in Boston, gives the following hints with regard to "Sowing the seed" in the juvenile mind. They are worthy of consideration.
I will by going once more over the subject, and collecting the different ways that may be tried to sow the seeds of a brave and cheerful temper as if I were trying to write a recipe to avoid fretfulness.

1. Never refuse a thing if it is harmless, but give it, if you are able, without delay.
2. Never give anything that is cried for, that you have refused when asked for.
3. Be careful to observe real illness, and avoid causing bodily uneasiness, from over clothing, or cold, or unwholesome food such as candy, sugar plums, sour fruit, or giving buns, or cakes, to quiet a child.
4. Avoid false promises.  They are sure to be found out false.
5. Avoid threats of all kinds. If believed, they make children timid, and injure both mind and body;  if not believed, they are useless.  Such threats as bogie, policeman, black man are sure to be found out false if the child lives.
6. Never say anything to a child that is untrue.
7. Do not wreak your own bad temper, or visit your feelings of fatigue and trouble on children, by being severe with them, or by saying  "you shan't have it" or "I won't give it to you" when there is no reason for refusal except that you yourself are tired, or in trouble, or out of sorts.
8. Avoid giving orders such as "stand still", "go on", "hold your tongue", "put it down", unless you really mean that they should be obeyed; and the fewer orders given, the better.
9. Neither give too much pity, nor yet be severe when a child tumbles down and hurts oneself.
10. Do not worry a child.  Let it alone and let it lie in peace
11. Teach it early to play alone, and amuse itself without your help.  Let it alone is a golden  rule in nine cases out of ten.

To sum up all in a few words:  Try to feel like a child; to enter into its griefs and joys, its trials and triumphs.  Then look forward to the time when it shall have a numbered as many years as you have seen and pray for help and strength to do your duty by it.  You may fail, as we all may, but if you sow the seed with humility and faith, you will have done all that is permitted to us imperfect creatures; and you haver reared up a cheerful, loving,  truthful and brave spirit, in a healthy body, you have been working with Him who told us  it was "not the will of our Father in heaven that one of these little ones should perish".

An Early Result of an Unstructured Life

In looking back, I think that all the years growing up in the outdoors with little direct supervision started to play out the day Darold and I were looking at the bulletin board in the hallway of our high school.  Darold was and still is my good friend and we both liked science and math. We did however find time for other activities during the school year.  On many occasions we went trout fishing early in the morning, catching some nice trout and then going on to school.
It was our senior year and we had no ideas for going on to college since both of our families had little money and had not mentioned college to either of us.  Going on to college was not a common practice then and the subject did not occupy much time in student gatherings.
As usual, the bulletin board was crammed with announcements, but there was one new one on the board and it was an invitation to apply for a scholarship at Michigan College of Mining and Technology in Houghton, Michigan.  Now for those of you who do not know where this town is located, let me tell you.  It is located on the Keweenaw Peninsula, the point of land that juts into Lake Superior.  It is so far north that it only has two seasons.  One is winter and the other is two weeks of poor skiing.
We both applied for the scholarships and we both received one.  $500.  I elected Chemical Engineering, Darold elected Electrical Engineering.  We thought is was great to be able to learn these professions and at the same time to be in country where the hunting and fishing were so good.
Now here's where our unstructured childhood experiences paid off in creativity, boldness and the ability to take the opportunity presented.
Darold and I spent a few weeks that summer building a row boat.  Darold then cut off the rear part of the body of his 1946 Chevrolet in order to make the car into a truck to transport the boat.
When the time for fall semester arrived, we were ready.  Our minds tuned to the challenge and we departed with this old car, boat and each with a suitcase of clothes.  Mothers and Dads said goodbye waiving to us as we left the driveway in Ada, Michigan for the 500 mile trip to Houghton, crossing the Straits of Michigan on a ferry (no bridge yet) and on through the upper peninsula of Michigan.
We made it in one drive and to this day, I do not recall having phoned my parents that we had arrived safely.  They knew we would arrive in good shape, after all, they taught us how to deal with all the problems we might face on this trip.

Tells it right

The best years to be born in the history of Earth & we got to experience it all. Thank God for all the times, the adventures, wars won, technology developed. Generations after future generations will never experience what we did. What a generation we turned out to be. To Those of Us Born 1925 - 1955: At the end of this email is a quote of the month by Jay Leno. If you don't read anything else, Please read what he said. ~~~~~~~~~ TO ALL THE KIDS WHO SURVIVED THE 1930’s, 40’s, and 50’s !! First, we survived being born to mothers who may have smoked and/or drank - While they were pregnant. They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, and didn't get tested for diabetes. Then, after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs Covered with bright colored Lead-based paints. We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets, And, when we rode our bikes, We had baseball caps, Not helmets, on our heads. As infants and children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes.. Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle. We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle, and no one actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter, and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And we weren't overweight. WHY? Because we were always outside playing...that's why! We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day .. . And, we were OKAY. We would spend hours building Our go-carts out of scrapsand then ride them down the hill, Only to find out that we forgot about brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned To Solve the problem. We did not Have Play Stations, Nintendo and X-boxes. There were No video games, No 150 channels on cable, No video movies Or DVDs, No surround-sound or CDs, No cell phones, No personal computers, No Internet and No chat rooms. WE HAD FRIENDS And we went Outside and found them! We fell out of trees, got cut, Broke bones and Lost teeth, And there were No lawsuits From those accidents. We would get Spankings with wooden spoons, switches, ping-pong paddles, or just a bare hand, And no one would call child services to report abuse. We ate worms, And mud pies Made from dirt, And The worms did Not live in us forever. We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, 22 rifles for our 12th, rode horses, made up games with sticks and tennis balls, and -although we were Told it would happen- we did not put out very many eyes. We rode bikes Or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just Walked in and talked to them. Little League had tryouts And not everyone Made the team. Those who didn't Had to learn To deal with Disappointment. Imagine that!! The idea of a parent Bailing us out If we broke the law was unheard of ... They actually sided with the law! These generations have Produced some of the best risk-takers, Problem solvers, and Inventors ever. The past 60 to 85 years Have seen an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, Failure, success and responsibility, and we learned Ho w to deal with it all. If YOU are One of those born Between 1925-1955, CONGRATULATIONS! You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good. While you are at it, forward it to your kids, so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were. Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ? ~~~~~~~ The quote of the month by Jay Leno: "With hurricanes, tornadoes, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?" For those who prefer to think that God is not watching over us.... go ahead and delete this. For the rest of us..... please pass this on. (received in email on 10/28/2019)

 

This book sells best

Of the four books, we have published this one on Unstructured Time sells the best.  People like to be reminded of "how it used to be".
A summary of all the books can be seen on adrtbooks.blogspot.com.
And, best of all, they can be purchased on Amazon.com.   Some of the books are Amazon printed books, others are books I have in inventory and are purchased from NQ99HQ---my store front.

Books in inventory reminds me of an author I recently read.   He said he had over 700 books all of first editions on his bookshelves---unfortunately, they were all of the same title and author.

NQ99HQ is on our front gate in Hays County, Texas.

Unstructured Time in Cartoons

Cartoons are a good way to poke fun at reality of life.  An especially good one is the cartoon that is published as Family Circus.  The one dated 10.13 shows dad coming on to the playing field filled with little kids who are about to play football--there must be 20 on each side.  He marches on to the field telling them that they are not properly organized for football and is about to show them how to do it.   They all look pretty disgruntled.
Go look for it and be amused.

Kids and Nature can be Unstructured or Structured

There is a lot of interest today in reconnecting kids with the outdoors, to learn some basics regarding life in general.  But, this unstructured time can be highly controlled by adults, or it can be uncontrolled by adults... Both are beneficial to children, but unsupervised outdoor experience is better---presuming the adults are courageous enough to allow it to happen.

We both grew up in an era and an environment that was conducive to playing outdoors.  Perhaps that was because of the absence of television and certainly before cell phones and digital games.  We have always looked upon our experiences in the out of doors as a “given” and not anything unique.   That’s all changed---especially for the urban population.

On the subject of nature, as we like to write about each month, we often hear how we must do certain things to preserve and protect things in nature.  We hear that native plants, clear running streams, all the natural components of the out of doors need our help to survive.  Because of population growth and land development, there is no doubt that is true.

Then we happened on the comment by a conservationist which went something- like this:  “We need nature as much as nature needs us”.

So, for this newsletter, we did some research into that concept and here is what we found:

Children are increasingly "contained" either by their parents and school teachers or by their own choice.  Kids are in car seats, in strollers at the supermarket, or riding in the shopping basket at the grocery store.  In schools, recess has mostly disappeared so they are contained in their classroom the entire time.  If by chance they do get outside to the school play yard they are tightly controlled by an adult.  Then, if not contained by an adult, then they choose containment by staying indoors to play games on their cell phone, or some other digital toy.
All of this is at the cost of being outdoors and to experience the complexity and intricacy of nature.  Children exposed to nature have shown significantly better cognizant skill than those who do not have any exposure to the outdoors.
Those studying this connection between learning and exposure to the natural world have found some strange situations.  For example, many children who have not spent any time out of doors are hesitant to sit on the grass.
Organized programs to take a kid fishing, or hiking or whatever are steps in the right direction, but the real exposure comes when kids are allowed to do all this by themselves.
With our interest in this subject, we chose to attend a brief presentation by Ryan Spencer from the Meadows Center. He spoke about this and referred us to the organization named Children and Nature Network.
Children and Nature Network is front and center on this topic.  Check out their website by searching for children and nature.
This is not a new interest on the part of educators, but it has not received the interest of the public schools that it should have by now.

Getting some good reads

On 9.5.2018, Gail writes: "....the book takes you back to those days"  and then goes on to say: "we really enjoyed it...… wonderful book with wonderful stories"

.............and from the Los Angeles Times:

Ms Healy, an author who writes about such topics as this one, has cited several specialists who believe that kids should have some free time to explore their own world.

It appears that the school system has become so top heavy that it has resulted in consuming the time of the children in addition to the valuable time of the teachers, all who are suffering from overload of administrative "stuff".

and the backside:

If the reader can not read the expanded view, try this link to the newspaper article.  It doesn't have the sailboat chalk picture (neat, huh?) but the story is there and readable.

Ms. Healys article

Unstructured Time Readers

We now have about six months of readership data on the book Unstructured Time.  Its really too early to characterize the readership, but some early data seems to indicate that readers can be in two groups.  Those who are older and those who are younger.  Hah, this is not a risky way to group the readers as nearly everything can be sorted out by young versus old.
But anyway, here is the take on the matter.
The older people really like the read. They tell us that it all brings back their memories of how they played and worked as children and they go on to say that this time of their development was valuable to them.  They think that some of the learnings from that life style are lost in todays times.  The authors realize this too, but they also realize that the rural environment, with its unstructured time probably missed some aspects for development due to its relative isolation.
The younger people who read the book are not enthusiastic readers.  They appear not to relate to this type of unstructured life, because to them, its all rather hypothetical.
So, this represents a challenge to us to consider how such a topic can be presented to the younger audience to assist them in their identifying themselves with this aspect of child development.

Unrelated, but nevertheless a good read is a book rediscovered in my library.  The title is FROM THE LAND AND BACK  by Curtis Stadtfeld.  It is a book written about farm life in the 1950s and how technology changed all that.  Look for it in your local library.

Observations on the road

We stopped into our favorite coffee shop the other day, on the way home from talking to the people at Reclaimed Space.  The coffee shop owners are a young couple with a 2 year old boy.  We got into the conversation of unstructured time and it was apparent that she was tuned into the importance of not controlling the little kids minute by minute activity.
She relates this story:  The family does not have a television service, so the TV set is viewed only on occasions of viewing a pay for play movie.  Because they have no TV service, the little kid is often about the house amusing himself.  She said "he can play for hours with blocks and other simple forms as toys".  However, on occasions he has stayed with his grandparents for several days at a time and they do have television and,, yes, it is on all the time.  During up time, they of course have it tuned to stuff for the kid.  On returning home, the mother reports that the little kid is unable to play by himself for more than 15 minutes without getting antsy.  After several days, this wears off and he again can play for long periods of time by himself.
No wonder so many kids have ADS.

Reading an old book by Carl Sagan, titled The Gardens of Eden, p. 202, there is this small paragraph which deals with unstructured time:

Unstructured Time, the book, is available

After many months of writing, rewriting and editing, the book made it through the prnter.
We think it turned out pretty good and should provide some interesting reading and thought provoking points about unstructured time for children.

Here's the cover, you can buy it at nq99hq store on Etsy.com:

Preface of the book

Preface

The stories and the discussion in this book are about unstructured time-----time that a child might have when not directed by an adult.  Urbanization and changes in the social environment have caused a significant reduction in unstructured time in the last 60 years for most children.

The authors had a lot of unstructured time in their youth. We spent much of that time exploring the world around us and learning from those experiences. Our world was rural, mostly farming country, located in Ada Township.  The time was the 1940s and 1950s.

The centerpiece of the book is a collection of short stories written with the objective of capturing those experiences 70 years later.  We believe that these experiences were important for our development into adults. 

Ahead of the stories, we discuss the concept of unstructured time by providing our assessment of its value to the development of children.  The discussion following the stories section is our opinion of how unstructured time was as successful as it was in the 1940s. For those who care to dig deeper into this subject, rest assured, there is no lack of opinion by others as well.

The book was edited by typical readers who gladly volunteered their work to help assure a readable text.  Thanks to them, the text should be both enjoyable and informative.

The Book is at the Printer

We finally made the last few corrections and additions, then struggled through the proofing process and now we are looking forward to a box of books to show up before the end of the year.

The book ended up at 178 pages with some 15 pages of photos.  It probably will not make the best seller list, but it will be a good read.

Publication of the book UNSTRUCTURED TIME looms

After more than a year of writing, rewriting, and formatting, we are getting close to publishing the book.  It will have 176 pages and about 15 pages of photos and 41 stories.  We are pleased with the outcome so far.

Observing Other Kids use of Unstructured Time

Now that we are "tuned" in to how kids use their unstructured time, we recall an situation in Arroyo Seco, New Mexico in 2014.  We were sitting at an outdoor picnic table at a ice cream shop named Taos Cow.  The picnic table was one of several placed at the head of the parking lot in this store's side yard. The tables were placed along a ditch that had a small stream running through it.  Small stream it was,  a trickle would be more descriptive.
Two young ladies drove up and sat down at one of the adjacent tables while the three small boys went immediately into the ditch looking for something to explore.  The found some sticks and used these to probe about every nook and cranny in this ditch, looking for who knows what.  After a few minutes after which this activity had played its course, they began to first tease each other with the sticks, then they began to bash each other in a free for all.  No holds barred here, they were slugging it out.  Then another car drove up, this time with one young mother and two more boys who immediately found some sticks and joined the fray.
It was hard for us to watch because it appeared they would really do some harm, but thinking about how kids once had the freedom to play this way, we had to continue to watch the show.
Meanwhile, the mothers did nothing to interfere, but seem to be watching out of the corner of the eye, so to speak.
Well, it all finally ended and all went happily on their way.  Sure did remind us of our old times.

Looks Like Some Will Get Recess

Many schools abandoned their recesses because they had other things to do with the time, those things mandated by the government---like testing.

Undirected Play at Recess

Many schools have eliminated recess for their students apparently because the pressing demands for school time for testing have pushed recess off the agenda.  Those that do still have recess, their time at play is probably supervised by an adult such that the recess is hardly worth its purpose.

Here's an article suggesting that maybe recess is returning.

Stories in the book

The bulk of the book will be short stories from the 1940's and 1950's as told by the authors.
Here is a listing of the stories: